Letter to teachers and kids – May 1, 2008
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Spoiled. Horriby spoiled. That's what my two dogs Smokey and Bandit are -- even if they deny it. I know better. Just look at how they act.
"You sleep in a sleeping bag. Your son Matt sleeps in a sleeping bag. Why shouldn't I get a sleeping bag?" my old dog Smokey told me. "And it's not my fault that I get lonesome at night and crawl into the sleeping bag with Matt. He can move over and give me some room.
"And no, I don't want that piece of carpet you bought me for the camper," Smokey added. "It's your job and Matt's job to keep me warm at night. I might get chilled. I might even get the sniffles." His little buddy Bandit isn't any better.
"Scooby-Do! Scooby-Do!," Bandit chirped. "I like Scooby-Do!"
At Smokey's suggestion, I looked into a life jacket for Bandit, the lousy swimmer. But would Bandit be satisfied with any old lifejacket? No. He wanted his own special lifejacket.
"I like my Scooby-Do lifejacket," Bandit said. "You'd better not forget it when we go fishing. I won't wear any old lifejacket. Scooby-Do! Scooby-Do!"
Bandit went on to suggest that I pack along a battery-powered TV and DVD player in the boat so he could watch Scooby-Do cartoons when we go fishing. I should buy him a Scooby-Do doggie bowl. He even thought it was only right that I should grow a beard and wear a wig and dress up like Shaggy, Scooby-Do's cartoon friend, when we go fishing.
No way. It isn't going to happen. There are limits to spoiling and I think we've gone past them all.
So if you bump into us out on a lake or in a campground anywhere, please don't encourage these two dogs. Believe me, they get treated well enough. And no, it is not a good idea that I let Smokey drive my truck or Bandit drive the boat -- no matter how much they think that's a better plan than having me do it.
This week would be a good time to look at the Fort Peck Dam section on the Missouri-Yellowstone Adopt-a-Fish site. You can find it at: http://www.pikemasters.com/adopt-fish/fortpeckdam.html. It will tell you about the history of this big dam on the Missouri River which has done much to change the rivers, fish and fishing of Eastern Montana.
If you have any questions of the biologists or want to send an e-mail to me, or Smokey, or Bandit, just send it to E-mail Smokey, Bandit and the Old Guy. We'll answer you as quickly as we can.
Talk to you next week.
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Signed,
Mark, the old guy
Smokey, the fish pointer
Bandit, "Scooby-Do! Scooby-Do!"